10 Reasons Why Millenials Have It Rough In the Dating World
Before you jump to conclusions about your millennial brotherren there are a few things you need to know. They have it SO hard when it comes to dating. Dating in any other generation before them was far more simple and similarly far less complex. The internet and social media were not a factor, dating apps didn’t exist, and gender roles were still pretty much in place. Millennials are individuals that were born from the year 1983–2000. If you think about it by the time these people began dating social media began to blow-up as well as online dating, dating apps, and new wave-feminism. That is a lot going on. With that comes to these ten reasons that dating as a millennial can be difficult and confusing AF.
1. Constant Communication
How many devices do you have right now? Probably between two and five. You have a phone, a computer or laptop, a tablet or iPad, a work phone, and maybe even a second computer or device. That means that at any point in your day, no matter where you are, you can be reached by just about everyone you know. As long as you respond accordingly you can be in a conversation from the moment you wake until the moment you fall asleep. How crazy does that sound? It may come as second nature to us but if you think about how much we are in communication with the world around us that can add a lot of pressure to dating. You are expected to be on call 24/7 and it is “rude” if you don’t respond or communicate all the time.
2. Social Media Stalking
We have all done it. Facebook creeping! As soon as you meet someone you slide open your screen and go straight to Facebook or another social media platform and creep the hell out of them before you even say two words to one another. Have you ever heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? Well, that happens a lot with social media stalking because you make up the person to be a certain way based on the information that you have gathered from his or her profiles. This affects dating so much because you need to get to know a person on their own accord, not based on your own internet stalking research.
Once you start spending time with your boo you may get tempted to snoop. No, not the usual house snooping, phone and computer snooping. This is a no-no and you are just asking for trouble. Your date goes to the bathroom and leaves his or her phone on the table. It is so tempting to just slide up the screen and pop-up their latest search bars to see what they are doing. This is so messed up but it is how we are wired. If you look at it, this is such an invasion of privacy but it is so tempting because your whole life is on your phone nowadays and it is so extremely tempting to snoop around their brain for a few minutes to paint a picture of what they are like unfiltered.
If you don’t know what ghosting is, consider yourself lucky. Ghosting is when you disappear after talking to someone and just poof! Ignore and shut down communication as a method of ending things with them. On paper, this seems pretty rude and selfish but it is actually very common among millennials when dating.
Thanks to dating apps, millennial dating is extremely sex-centered. Dating used to be focused more on the relationship itself but now there is so much pressure for sex on the first date that you can’t quite compute what you actually want. Sometimes it is good for the relationship to get sex out of the way to not have it hovering over both of you but on the other hand, it may be best to wait on the sex aspect of your relationship after you get to know each other better. Whatever you choose is fine but as a millennial, the pressure to do it is very much alive and well. No matter who you are.
6. Option Overloaded
There are too many damn people to choose from. Millennial dating is like an all you can eat buffet, you want to keep going back for more even though you should be content with what you have already eaten and remained satisfied. Once you begin to date someone, after a few months you dating apps alert you of someone with more money or that is more attractive or more interesting so you ghost who you are with and hop over to the next person. This is an unfortunate habit that millennials have developed because it leaves no room for pure commitment. No wonder they aren’t getting married until they are 35 or 40…it’s because they can’t focus on one relationship because there are too many options around them, making them second guess if the grass is in fact greener on the other side.
“The never-ending journey becomes more exhilarating than the actual prize itself.”
-Beth Leipholtz, blogger
7. Too Much Grey
Dating is filled with grey areas. Are we exclusive, are we just friends, are we friend with benefits, is this a no strings attached situation, are we monogamous, are we polyamorous…wow…just wow. There are so many ways to “define” your relationship that if things are settled up front you are just floating in an abyss of grey and confusion.
8. Jaded As Hell
As mentioned above, millennial dating culture is very focused on sex rather than love. This makes us jaded as hell because to find love is nearly impossible because if you have been burned so many times before with “just sex” relationships, you become cynical and write off love altogether. This leaves no room for growth and can result in a scorned woman situation.
9. Not Accountable For Pain
Similar to ghosting, millennials feel no remorse for hurting others…i.e. Everyone feeling jaded as hell because we just leave people hanging and do not feel accountable for their feelings because it is not our fault and we did not do anything wrong. Their emotions are their problems…omg how messed up is that. But it happens, all…the…time. These scorned millennials have been breaking hearts left and right and just don’t give AF.
10. The Hidden Patriarchy
Is your bae woke? Even if he is sometimes it is false. Don’t be fooled by his male-feminism. Millennial men are by far the most “woke” of any male generation but some of them can be sneaky, mainstream media makes us all out to be some sort of feminists but when it gets down to brass tax things maybe a bit different.
“They’re a lot better at hiding their sexism than other generations. While they might be the most woke of baes on social media, watch them get threatened by your career.”
-Eve Peyser, blogger