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While you might think flirting is natural and there is nothing new you can learn, we dare you to go through these 5 tips and see if there is anything you are doing wrong.


The most important thing in the beginning to being a good flirt is to create a right aura,framing,atmosphere, you name it! You can’t just go in and expect to flirt if you don’t create the right atmosphere or the right frame, as dating experts love to call it. By creating a frame we mean creating a right attitude while you are approaching someone you like. You have to create a right frame of mind and to do that you also have to keep an open body language, smile and have positive energy. Your vibe has to be playful and the person who is about to catch that vibe will be eager to play as well.

Kino escalation

It is quite straightforward — by kino escalating, we mean escalating the touch. If you are flirting with someone, breaking the barriers is a vital step. Us, humans feel a lot less anxious around people when we are melting the ice with some touch. This rule applies to both, men and women, as usually it’s the guys who are going to take the first step with kino escalation, but if you are a woman and you are interested in the game he is playing, don’t hesitate to respond with kino escalation as well. Just make sure, you don’t tap him/her on the shoulder. That’s a no-no in the rulebook of flirting.


Spacing is crucial when it comes to your flirting technique. If you stand way too far, you are keeping it at professional distance, no love vibe are going to fly all the way through that distance. But if you want to flirt, if you want attention and that someone to like you, you have to build the chemistry, and see if there is something there between you two. And nothing can be more effective at creating chemistry than looking into each other’s eyes while hearing each other’s heartbeats.


We all are naturally seeking validation, especially when we are flirting. So when you can sense some flirting going on and you are trying to keep it up, do make sure to give that person validation. When you are showing them that they are doing something right, by laughing at their jokes, playfully touching or smiling, you are easing the tension. That other person is trying to impress you, and by showing the emotions the other flirt is trying to evoke, you are eliminating the tension, making flirting more enjoyable for both of you

Body Language

The most import of them all is of course the mother of flirting — the body language. Sometimes your body and gestures can tell more than words. By reading each other’s body language, we are reading the signs and figuring out whether there is a point at trying more. If you are flirting with someone and your eyes are constantly looking in a wrong direction, or your hands are closed, and you are shivering, chances are you are not going to get too far with this. Train your body to relax and stay confident. Only by portraying your inner power and confidence will you be able to be enjoy flirting and be successful at it.

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The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.

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