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5 Secrets About Going From Online To IRL

How To Turn Online Chatting To Real-Life Meeting

After meeting someone online, there is the inevitable fate of meeting one another IRL (In Real Life). You should not just meet someone that you just met online on a whim. There are recommendation you should follow, precautions you should take, and a few tips to create a successful meeting when it does happen. Below are five secrets for taking your online dating relationship to a real life dating relationship. There is a lot more leg work that goes into it than you would think. Take these tips to heart and you will have a successful transition from face to screen into face to face.

1. Make The Meeting Within 2 Weeks

It is imperative that you meet up with the person you are dating online within two weeks of your first interaction online. In such a way, you decrease the chances of being catfished tenfold by meeting them in real life after a short amount of time to have tactile proof the person your are courting online is in fact the person you think they are.

Another reason to meet sooner rather than later is to spark interest and maintain transparency. It is more simple to lie or fib online than it is in person. If you start dating someone under false pretences then you will not be lead to believe that they like something or share a hobby with you that they actually do not. If someone you are chatting with says they like to hike, invite them to go on an actual hike next weekend. This way you can share your passion with someone new or find out they have other passions that you would not have known about if you did not meet in real life and maintained an online-only relationship.

2. Inviting A Person Out On A Date

You may think that it is weird asking someone to meet in real life for the first time. If you find the right transitional phrases to ask them out then you will be having face to face interactions before you know it. One of the leading pick-up lines that you can use will lead a conversation off the screen. You want to leave them wanting more so that they feel compelled to meet you in a public setting. “What if I tell you the rest over coffee?” In saying something like this it is a cliffhanger of sorts and they can feel comfortable saying “yes” or “no” without feeling bad or uncomfortable.

“You’re a good one, let’s actually hangout in real life before someone else scoops you up.” This is another example of a compliment that can transition you into the real world together. Make sure to tell whomever you are chatting with that you think they are great and actually one of the normal people that you have meet so you should meet in real life. If you tell them how awesome they are then that may be the nudge they need to put on some heels and meet up with you at a local bar or eatery. There is nothing wrong with a compliment, usually a few good words can take you a long way.

3. Behaving With A Person In Real Life

Don’t forget your manners! It is easy to feel relaxed when you are in an online relationship because you could be as messy and unkempt as you want because no one sees you. However, when the online relationship inevitably turns into an in real life relationship then you need to rehearse your manners and take a shower.

“Meeting someone in person as soon as possible will force you back to reality. From there, you’re able to decide whether you want to continue a real relationship with this person. If not, you can always head back online and connect with your other matches.” — Brianne Hogan, relationship blogger

You may think that manners and personal hygiene are common sense, but that is not always the case. Recognize what you do when you are alone and check to see what you can alter to make yourself more desirable and polite. For example, use a napkin when you are eating and always excuse yourself first if you need to get up to use the restroom.

4. Keep It Light And Breezy At First

The idea of meeting your internet crush outside of a chatroom or online dating forum may sound kind of scary. Without spooking you too much I can share with you that it will be a bit different and you may have a case of butterflies when you get to your first meetup. That is why you should keep things light and breezy in the beginning. This way you both can relax a bit and not have the pressure of a glamorous night out with a beautiful stranger. Meeting your date for a cup of coffee at two in the afternoon is far less intense than meeting up at a fancy steakhouse in your Sunday best. I mean, I am not saying you can’t be formal, just keeping it simple from the start will help ease everyone into the situation.

Another quick way to make things go smoothly is to keep the date about just you and that person. Don’t introduce the family on your first date. You should not be meeting someone’s parents the same day you are meeting them! So no, grandma’s 80th birthday barbeque is NOT a good place for a simple first date. And contrary to popular belief, you would be surprised at the amount of people that don’t think of a low pressure first date because they feel closer to the person they are talking to online so they read the room all wrong. Just because you know someone online well doesn’t mean they are ready to just jump into your life in person. You must treat your first meet up in real life as if you are actually meeting for the first time. You never know what to expect to you must plan accordingly.

5. Practice And Prepare

If you have been online dating for awhile there is a chance that you have not ventured into the world of “in real life” dating for quite awhile. Take an afternoon to practice and prepare for your date. You will probably be a little more rusty than you remember. You can even go as far as role playing your initial meetup with a friend of yours. You can practice what to say and your friend can bring up all possible “going wrong” situations so that you will be prepared with an arsenal of dating knowledge before you meet your match.

“Decide what you want to do on the first date. Some Garter Brides have shared with us that they are more comfortable doing something active on the first meeting. We feel that that’s a little risky time wise because if it’s not working, you might feel trapped. Now, on the second date it’s a really good idea. Go to an exhibit, hear some jazz, hit some golf balls — you’ll both feel less nervous and will have more to talk about.”

-Garter Brides Publication Article

This isn’t weird I promise. The more you practice, the less nervous you will become. Another way you can prepare is to do some research on your beau before you meet up. Check out their profile, see if you have mutual friend or not. If you do, ask around to see what kind of person they are. By doing the proper amount of snooping around before a date you will find out things you may not have unless you did some research. You can never be too prepared. I mean, you don’t want to bring up Mother’s Day on a first date if they don’t have a mother anymore. Finding out little facts like that from mutual friends can assist you on your date and have successful interactions without harming or offending your date easily.

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The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.

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