Going On a First Date With Your Online Crush? 7 Tips To Feel Safe and Comfortable

Taking your online relationship offline? That's how you can play it safe, according to experts.

Hily Dating App
4 min readJan 31, 2020
Photo by Road Trip with Raj on Unsplash

Online dating can be really effective when you're looking for a date. You get to meet lots of compatible people in a very short time. However, relationships are not about texting back and forth all the time. At some point, people just have to get offline.

However, in the real world, all the safety features that are available on a dating app are no longer applicable. We believe that most people are genuinely nice and friendly, but others are just good at wearing masks.

The most important thing to remember about transitioning your online dating to in-person dating is to use common sense. If something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t, says dating and relationship expert Jeffrey Sothers.

So, here are some uncommon tips to feel safer and more comfortable on the first date with a person you've met online.

1. Have a Phone Conversation at First

Usually, it's much easier to hide behind text messages than speak spontaneously and let someone hear your real voice. Gaye Weintraub, who is a relationship counsellor, believes you can get a good feel for a person based on their voice in a phone conversation.

2. Know What Speed Is Good For You

Yes, we're talking about boundaries. Don't be afraid to speak up and tell if you're not comfortable with a requested place, time or activity.

Sharing your boundaries of comfort is YOUR responsibility. Understand other people don’t think exactly like you, says a dating coach Mario Singelmann.

Mario believes that minor disagreements are actually fantastic tools for creating respect and even attraction. You always have to put your safety before the fear to hurt somebody's feelings.

3. Meet at a Place You've Been Before

Of course, it should be public. The servers at your favourite bar or coffee shop will probably recognize you. It won't only help to take the edge off but also let your date know you’re in good hands with the staff there, says Nancy Deen, a former matchmaker. If you feel uncomfortable, you can always sneak away to the bathroom and call a friend, family member, or taxi to take you home.

Photo by Matt W Newman on Unsplash

4. Carry Your Valuables With You To The Bathroom

Better you seem a bit paranoid than come back to the table at dinner to find your bag, wallet or other valuables gone with your date, says Jeffrey Sothers. So, when you leave the table take your purse/wallet/bag with you.

5. Avoid or Limit Alcohol

It's very common to meet someone for drinks at a bar. If possible choose another way to spend your time with a person you barely know. Remember alcohol affects your judgment and decision making, says Mario Singelmann.

If you must “meet for drinks,” limit alcohol consumption a the purpose of the meet is not to have an epic Happy Hour, but to focus on getting to know someone new, better.

6. Pay Attention

On a first date, take your time to get to know a person. What are they into? Do you have a lot in common? Any red flags? Elisa Robyn, a wealth relationship expert, says it's important to be open-minded about your date.

If we are lonely we can get a bit too hopeful about each new first date. We might hope that this will be our last first date. Think about going into the date as an explorer, interested but not invested in the outcome. You might have a wonderful time, but not feel the need to meet again. Be prepared for the other person to feel the same, recommends Elisa.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

7. Keep Your Personal Information Personal

It's great if you feel connected to your date, but wait until you really trust them to share your personal details. Here are some basics: don't ask for a drive and always get your own transportation and tell a close friend where you are going.

We at Hily believe those simple tips will help you feel safe and calm on your first date. It's great to be prepared but don't overthink it! Always trust your guts and have fun!

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