A Few Ways To Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
You Are Happy Being Single
Well, I suppose deciding what makes you happy is logically the first step. It is difficult to understand what makes someone else happy if you cannot make yourself happy. Being single is not an illness or a sentence of sorts, it is a time for discovery as well as a learning experience. Find out who you are without another person in your life. You may be pleasantly surprised about what you find. Self-discovery is an important part of preparing yourself to be ready for a serious relationship. Once you realize you can live on your own, and become your own person, only then will you be ready to add a serious relationship into your life.
You Want A Companion Not Completion
If you WANT rather than NEED a companion, that is a tell-tale sign you are ready for a serious relationship. Feeling like you need a boyfriend or girlfriend is no way to find love. Love is having someone in your life to share it with rather than complete your life. You need to be able to be secure enough with yourself and be happy with who you are as a person without someone so that you can add a partner into your life without feeling like you are missing a piece of yourself without them in your life.
“Serial monogamists hop from one relationship to another, barely coming up for air in-between. They want someone to play the ‘role’ of a partner because they feel that they need another person to ‘complete’ them.”
You never want to be that person that “needs” someone. You are strong enough on your own and the only reason you should add a serious partner into your life is because you want love and companionship not because you need love and companionship.
You Have A Path In Life
Set yourself up with a career or a focus that makes your spirit happy. Do something with your life that fills you with joy. It is not to say that you have to be career focused and wait until you are a CEO to find love. I just mean that there should be direction in your life, you know what steps you need to take to be who you believe you need to be to become your best you. Once you have a plan and a goal about where you want to be in life it will be easier to add a serious relationship into the mix because you won’t be struggling with your identity and trying to navigate love all in one breath. Having a set path will also direct you towards like minded individuals and you may end up meeting someone who meets your needs both in your career as well as love because you have chosen to focus on yourself and finding love along the way is an added bonus.
Your Ex Is No Longer An Issue
We all have them. Exes. The natural progression of a breakup will involve cutting your ex out of your life completely at some point. Unless you are an anomaly and can remain friends after a breakup. It is healthy for you as well as your ex to completely be done with one another before either of you begin a new love journey. How can you expect to love another when you have the lingering thoughts of your ex and what could have been or what was in the back of your mind. That is neither fair to you nor to your future partner. We all have baggage but just make sure you have it all packed up and taken care of before you start a serious relationship with someone. You can talk about it when the time comes but having someone else in the back of your mind everyday just is not fair.
“Only when she’s fully moved on from her ex and is able to see the break-up rationally will she be ready for a new relationship with you.”
You Begin Looking For A Soulmate Not Your Identity
Finding yourself is a huge part of finding your soulmate. Once you have your own identity and you are comfortable with who you are as a person only then will you be equipped with the emotional strength to begin your journey in looking for your soulmate.
“While a relationship cannot be your entire life, it does permeate its entirety. You become connected with their friends, families, hobbies, pets, living situations… and they become connected with yours.”
You Stop Having Sex On The First Date
There is nothing wrong with sleeping with someone on the first date but that is no way to start off a serious relationship. It is one thing to be casually dating and sleep around because there is no chance of starting a life together. Sometimes casual relations can turn into something more but it is best to start a serious relationship with someone when you are ready for more than sex. A serious relationship involves love and commitment, yes sex is a factor but it is not everything.
Trust Issues Resolved
Resolving trust issues you may have from past relationships is an important step in self-healing. Whether it means you get over it yourself or you seek out therapy to get through it, overcoming trust issues that were from your past is important. Going into a serious relationship you need to have a clear mind and fresh views because your past should not negatively affect your future relationships. That is just silly and unnecessary.
After reflecting on all of this information I hope that you can pull together the courage to realize whether or not you are ready for a serious relationship. Happy Dating!