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Can Casual Sex Become A Relationship?

Casual sex can be fun with no strings attached thanks to the new hookup apps that are accessible with just a click of your phone. A few swipes and there you have it, someone that is down to get dirty. But what if you want more? CAN you turn casual hookups into a relationship? The better question is SHOULD you turn casual into serious?

“Communication is key. No one can read your mind. You must vocalize what you want.”

Sex First, Love Later

Turning your Tinder date into something more is much more possible than you may think. There are a few steps that you need to take in order to make your sex sessions into dinner and hand holding. To be completely transparent, this idea sounds crazy because conventionally the situation is swapped and you begin a courtship and date BEFORE you sleep together. However, thanks to apps that connect you with other singles that have an itch they need scratched, you don’t necessarily need to be dating someone in order to sleep with them. THere is literally an app for everything, even casual sex.

With that said, doing things “backwards” is actually how the millennials sometimes form their lifelong relationships. Love after sex is not just for the movies, it is possible to turn casual sex into a relationship, you just have to put in the work; like any kind of relationship that you want to succeed.

“About 60% of Americans have reported having a one night stand, according to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, who also appeared on the show. And of the people who had a one night stand, over 30% actually ended up in a long-term relationship because of it.”

Why Rock The Boat?

First, you need to ask yourself a few questions to get the ball rolling and make certain that this is the best direction for your relationship to go in. Because sometimes, sex is just sex and there is actually no love connection, just physical attraction and sexual magnetism. Don’t fix what isn’t broken, amirite? Sometimes life is too busy for the commitment of relationships outside of family and work. That is how hookup culture developed in the first place. Millennials are so career focused in both gender pools that men and women alike are bogged down at the office until late hours of the night. This leaves no time for dating but we still need SEX! So why complicate things when you are getting what you want anyways? Because, the heart wants what the heart wants. Before you rock the boat and mess up a good thing you need to check these two things off your list before you begin your late night confessions to your lover.

  • If yes then, pursue it. Ask them in a frank conversation. Are you looking for more than just sex? I feel something for you, let’s give this thing a shot.
  • If no then, cut it out and SHUT IT DOWN. There is no use in pursuing and unwilling target.
  • How do you know that you like someone if you ONLY sleep with them. Leave some time before or after your hookups to play a game, catch a movie, or make dinner together. It doesn’t have to be an obvious attempt at hanging out but just something so you can test the waters. If you are just lusting over them then you should realize that while you are doing something other than each other.

“The rise of dating apps coupled with the rise of more liberated sexual norms has created numerous opportunities for one of the world’s most beloved pastimes: casual sex.”

Is It A Good Idea?

You must ask yourself which part of you wants this to become a relationship. Is it your loins or your heart? If the answer is the former then you need to just keep walking along. If the answer is your heart then you are safe to pursue this new relationship that you want. Here are some tips turning a casual fling into a long term thing:

  • Tip #1: Show that you care

Send a message to them asking about their day randomly. Try to talk to them about something other than when and where you want to have sex with them next. If they know that they are wanted for other reasons than just physical then you have a higher chance of having mutual feelings with each other.

  • Tip #2: Keep your hobbies and so should he

Just because you like someone doesn’t mean that you should throw away your whole life just to appease them and be a part of theirs. Being a couple is becoming two halves of a whole…not just one person. If you run, keep running and make a schedule even if that helps you keep the promise to remain faithful to your hobbies. As well for him if he like to golf, encourage a guys trip to golf together and you can take a spa weekend. Anything that keep you both happy.

  • Tip #3: Cut off your side pieces

The idea of dating the person that you are sleeping with means that you would be monogamous as well. Understand that and realize you want just him and no one else. You need to cut off your other booty calls, if you have any before your commit because that is not fair to someone who is emotionally investing in you.

Helen Fisher, famed biological anthropologist and Chief Scientific Adviser at Match, says that “casual sexual relations serve an important purpose, can have wonderful outcomes (when safe and consensual), and can often develop into serious partnerships.”

Pretty much over half of people that start a casual fling end up in a long-term relationship. So what does that say about casual sex? Is it really what we want has humans or is it a new way for people to meet they just get the sex part out of the way first to cut out the will we or won’t we dance.

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The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.

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