I’m 20 And I Like It
Your 20s Have Stages
The stages of a person’s 20s are polar opposites and are like a mini life all in themselves. Think of age 20 as birth and 29 as “death” not in a cryptic way just for the sake of this timeline. I like to think of your 20s as a microlife snapshot because so much learning and growth is done to plan and prepare for your long life ahead. Therefore it only makes sense that dating in your 20s can be a challenge. But before you step into the world of dating you need to understand the three phases of your 20s so that you can assess your prospects in dating.
- Early 20s
Similar to birth, individuals in their early 20s are figuring out how to navigate life on their own. They may still be living at home, working on their degree, choosing a career path and working a minimum wage job to get by. It is normal for all of this to occur at this time in your life because it is not possible to support yourself with such a job. Due to the fact that you are not in a position to pay rent anywhere you still share a house with your parents and probably live under their house rules depending on your relationship. This can cause some problems when you are trying to date but also become an individual and decide what direction you want to take in life. There is a lot going on for people in their early 20s and finding love just isn’t in the cards for most of them unless they find a lucky mate that matches up with the direction their life is going.
- Mid 20s
No this is the time in your 20s where you have graduated by now, maybe you are out on your own in a house or apartment and you have a career or at least an idea of what career you want to have if you have not been lucky enough to achieve it yet. This is the prime age for hookups. Everyone is still focused on become a “person” and not necessarily thinking about bringing others into their life permanently. Again, there are the lucky few that may meet someone along the way at find love but for the majority of individuals in their mid 20s it is filled with a hookup culture and career focused.
- Late 20s
You have hopefully reached about age 26 or 27 by now and you have a career, a house or apartment that you own or are serious about and you are comfortable in all aspects of your life so now you can finally stop the hookup apps and meet someone for real. You may meet a colleague at work that you are compatible with and date them for awhile or you meet someone a different way. By now you are still not ready for marriage but at least you have all your ducks in a row to start bringing someone else into the picture and complete your life. What a long and trying journey your 20s are! Honestly this is probably the most difficult time in your life because it is your formative decade for the rest of your life. Dating in your 20s is challenging and I will tell you more about why down below.
Society has become a hookup culture and dating in your 20s is just that. A giant pool of horny young adults. Dating apps will help link you up with people but mostly they want to play it casual and not get too serious because they are still trying to figure out their life in general. Early 20s is a time for low commitment and soul searching so you will be hard to find someone that wants to get married at the age of 21. Young adults just want someone to go to the movies with and have sex without having to take them home to mom and make it a big thing. A major challenge for dating in your 20s is the casual hookups that occur and make it difficult to sort through the people that may actually want a relationship.
Naturally 20-somethings are career focused because they just spent all this money getting a degree so now the challenge for them is to figure out what to do with it. With loans accrued and stress levels elevated the money situation will not be solved unless you can find a job to pay for all of your bills that you now have as a college graduate. Finding a job is the first step and most people once they have found that job spend their 20s climbing the corporate ladder to get a bigger paycheck to support a life with someone and possibly even children. There is not much time left to date when you are burning the midnight oil at the office every night trying to get ahead.
Social Media Availability
Everyone’s business is everywhere. With the heightened use of social media the second you meet someone you can find them on the internet and creep their entire lives. There are no more surprises anymore. It is difficult to meet someone when you are too busy looking up their past relationships to see if they would make a good partner. It is as if people in their 20s have the ability to be super spies and the second they find dirt on someone they are off the list. The challenge of dating in your 20s is that you can write someone off so easily because their whole profile can tell you who they are and what they are about without saying two words to them.
Lives With Parents
No one wants to bring a girl home to their parent’s house after a date. It will feel like you are still in high school bringing your girlfriend home to watch a movie on your parents couch after a Friday night football game. This is not only a challenge when you are 20 and dating but it is an obstacle. You can only see people if it is outside your home or if your parents aren’t around. Dating someone that lives with their parents is more common now with the wave of millenials that live rent-free until they are 30 because no one can afford to move out. This is a very real reality for individuals that are dating in their 20s.
Dating Older Men or Women
Another tricky part about dating when you are 20 is your ability to date people younger than you and people that are older than you without stigma. You are free to be 20 and date an 18 year old but you can also be a 20 year old and date a 24 year old without it being weird because you are at such a medium age. Yes, this can be a challenge because if you meet someone younger they may not be out of high school yet. Same as if you meet someone older, they may be more inclined to commit because they have 5 more years in the dating world than you do. So the tricky part is screening the people that you date to make sure you are in a good age gap without things getting awkward.
Long story short, enjoy your 20s, figure out who you want to be and date who you want before you decide to settle down.