Dating Apps and Commitment

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Would you be comfortable with it if you boy/girlfriend was a resident of an online dating site?

Online dating is such a part of everyone’s life now. It seems unrealistic to not be a part of that community if you are a single person in this generation. However, if you are in a committed relationship whether it be legally binding or not one would hope that all dating apps are deleted. But what happens when they aren’t? This leads your partner to believe that they are never fully invested with your relationship because the idea of leaving is always in the back of someone’s head if they leave the possibility of dating apps open. The flipside however is a couple that trusts each other completely with no intention of going a stray but keeps the apps solely for chat purposes. This can be a good source of finding friends and networking. As long as you do not let it get romantic, there should be no harm.

Do you have enough confidence in boy/girlfriend to simply ignore the fact?

As I said above, you either trust your partner or you don’t. If you are with someone that has dating apps still running on his or her phone then that may just speak to the type of person that you are dating. A free spirited person is less likely to fully commit themselves to one soul. The idea of staying with one person for too long maybe unsettling and they do not want to go off the grid in the dating world if they do not plan to stick around.

So where does that leave you? With a partner half committed to you? Unless you are in an open relationship this does not seem like an ideal situation. I know when I am with someone I want the all in. Say, you THINK they are all in but you find out otherwise.

What happens when they get caught?

Your friend is single and looking for a hookup, but as they are swiping around they come across a profile that looks all too familiar, it’s your boyfriend. What would you do if a friend of yours finds your boyfriend’s photo on a sex dating app like Pure or Tinder? A Reddit user [–][deleted] suggests that “match with him, then message him “Awkward.”

On the other hand, [–]hengman14 has a totally different opinion about this situation. “Why are people so fast to resort to “just dump him/her”? They just bought a house across the country together for crying out loud, and you think the best idea is to just throw the last 5 years away and remove who’s likely the single most important person in your life? All over a relatively stupid phone app? OP, you should make him tell you the truth. Just looking for friends sounds like a cover up. He might be looking for validation or, like you, is plain curious about the app and is seeing what kind of attention he can get. There are a lot of pretty girls on that app so it’s easy to see an ad and just try it. The cropped photo of him without you is him putting his best foot forward in attracting attention on the app.”

Or you could address the fact that your friend was matched with your boyfriend on a sex app directly. This will put him on the spot and even if he has not acted on any of the request…it is still cheating. Intent to cheat is almost worse than impulse cheating. This means that it is being planned out and they have been planning to leave you or cheat on you for awhile and it was not just one drunken mistake and a bar. It was a planned hookup with intent to go behind your back. I don’t know about you but I would be more hurt in a situation such as this. According to the peanut gallery above, you can take another try at the relationship because sometimes the amount of time invested is worth more than one mistake that they have made.

If you have a partner that is a restless soul would you be open to an open relationship? This would prevent the formal form of cheating because you would know that they always have the option to stray but come home to you at the end of the night. What even is an open relationship? By definition an open marriage or relationship is,

“a marriage or relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others.”

Popular famous stars have made their marriages work by staying emotionally connected and committed to each other but they have an open marriage. Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith are an example of this. They have had a long and full marriage with two kids and they appear to be happy. They have an open marriage. I think that is what works for them because of the lives that they lead call for this set up. But, in a open marriage you never actually “date” another person, you just have sex with them. It is purely physical and it is not for everyone.

Have you ever registered on a dating site while being in a relationship yourself?

What was your purpose, although there are hundreds of real user stories in the net about occasionally seeing their friend’s spouses on dating sites. Why though? Where you unhappy in your marriage? Did you decide you needed a different sexual experience than the one you were getting from your partner? There are lots of different reasons. Follow us here on Medium to find out more about love and relationships so that you can get the most out of the one you are in with you and yours.

An Affair To Forget

Just as dating sites have changed, cheating on dating sites has changed as well. It used to go something like this, girl meets boy, boy lies to girl about marital status and girl unintentionally cheats with a married man. Men used to lie about their status in relationships than women. Now, women are the ones that seek extra marital affairs.

“Sweden has the highest percentage, 66.5 percent. This was followed by Denmark (66 per cent), Ireland (60 percent), and Norway (59 percent). In the United Kingdom a majority of women (57.1 percent) have had sex outside of a relationship.” Source Online dating has made it easier to cheat and have more sex than ever in the history of relationships.

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The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.

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