Different Strokes For Different Folks
How your approach for contact with other users says a lot about your personality
Salutations, pleasantries, greetings, whatever you may call it we all use something to approach each other. It is no different on dating apps. Everyone has their own style to approach one another on dating apps. There is a spectrum of approach styles; they range from the standard “hi” messages to the unsolicited nude photos that say more than any words could. Although the spectrum is vast we have narrowed it down to five different types of approaches for dating apps.
- Standard Messages, “hi.”
- Send stickers
- Send emojis
- GIFs
- Nude photos
Psychological Types According To Style Of Approach
People Who Send Standard Messages
There may be a screen separating you and your potential suitors but the words in between can tell a lot about the mystery person on the other side even when they do not in fact say much at all. Standard messages such as a quick “hello” or “sup” are from people that are considered lazy. They want to create contact but they do not put any time or effort into doing so. They draw you in with a message but it is like pulling teeth to start a conversation with them.
Standard methods of retaliation include:
- Asking questions to open up more than a one word response. Such as what is your favorite place to eat? Where do you go when you need to clear your mind?
- Sending “hi” back to see if they will respond and truly want to talk more than just make themselves present.
- Make a game out of it. Tell them you want to play twenty questions. That is a guaranteed one hour conversation that could lead to you being on the phone all night.
Dating shouldn’t be a game so shut-it down by opening up the conversation to them and they will follow in suit.
Stickers As A Form Of Self-Expression
Those that send stickers or oversized emoji’s are expressive and emotional. In person, these people will be overly expressive using animated hand gestures or loud voices. The stickers are representative of the lively attitude that person has.
The chart above shows stickers are being used two times more than emojis. I would have to say that this speaks volumes to the crowds that use stickers. They are fun, especially the 12.8% that uses both emojis and stickers, wow that would be a colorful conversation.
Men use stickers more often, they use them as icebreakers. Women use stickers in response to text rather than conversation starters. I wonder if women wait to use stickers as a response rather than to start off because they are waiting to test the conversation. Women use emoji 8% oftener than men because emojis are more feminine. Yes, now we have a world of choices that are for everyone but for awhile emojis were more of a female conversation additive.
Sometimes when someone sends you a sticker there is not much to say about a giant smiling penguin. However, this is an icebreaker or placeholder for a statement that need not be expressed with words or emojis. You could just say “Thank you” but for someone that has a big personality, an adorable puppy holding a sign that says thank you is more expressive and appropriate for their personality.
Emojis To Replace Actual Feelings
Emojis are so fun that they are even making a movie about them later this year. Why is everyone so in love with them? How can a picture replace a well thought out text message. There is so much meaning behind a small image. It brings to light the age old phrase, ‘a picture is worth a thousand words.’ They are fun, simple, and concise. Emojis are also a more comfortable way of communicating. When someone may not have the courage to say I love you but they have strong feelings for the person they are chatting with they can send😻to express their “love” to one another.
“Emojis scaffold our electronic communications.” -Dr. Alizah Lowell
When someone sends you an emoji they are trying to say something that is simple but fun. Typically, senders that use emojis are fun and positive. Expect to be dazzled by their love of self expression by way of emojis. For example, if you tell someone you ran a 5k this past weekend they may send you these emojis 💪 to represent power and strength but also a congratulations. The fun part about emojis is that they can sometimes mean MORE than the original words they represent to begin with.
For the most part all age groups use stickers and emojis a similar amount. It appears however that the age bracket 45–54 and 55+ are the users that do not use emojis very often. This must be generational. This age group did not have emojis growing up so it is a foreign concept and they are not as comfortable using it or they may misuse the concept.
If there was an Olympic medal for using Emojis, Germany would take home the gold. At a whopping 47.2% they are the country that uses emojis most often. On the flip side, Russia prefers to use stickers. I wonder what the cultural differences between Germany and Russia would show that they prefer stickers over emojis. Europeans overall use both emojis and stickers far more than the United States. Is it because they are more fun? Or is it because they us the characters to bridge the language gap? Both could be a possibility.
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People Who Use GIFs More Than Words
GIFs are such a fun animated phrase that people can send to one another in place of talking or chatting. People that send more GIFs than actual words are categorized as both arrogant and self-asserted. They feel that they are better than the current conversation and can just send a GIF to do all the work for them. They typically are self-absorbed and because they only think of themselves and their emotions so they do not care to give a lengthy text response and simply send a GIF in place of a thoughtful response for a quick answer or comic relief in a tense situation. Men are typically the culprit for using GIFs and fitting into this psychological type.
Nudes; Both Wanted And Unwanted
Everyone is familiar with the term, “d!@* pics,” or more eloquently put…nude photos. Most women that receive them are not expecting it and do not find it attractive. 68% of women react to them. Although this is a high return percentage, it does not say that it is a positive return. Nude photos will elicit a response but the chance of it being negative rather than positive is much more likely. 32% of women will send a nude in return. So about half of the recipients send a nude back to you.
Guys, that is not a high percentage…quit sending unwanted snake shots. 65% of men will report a nude, 53% of men will report with “looks like a whore” if a girl is wearing a short dress on a photo. Whore is a strong word to use let’s say, “loose woman.” The art of seduction via nude photos flirts with the line between sexy and creepy. If you are going to be sending nudes, make sure it is wanted and if you receive nudes, tell the sender your feedback. I’m sure they do not want radio silence after sending a photo of their junk to someone online. Dealing with these kinds of folks can be done one of two ways. One, if you like it. Go for it. Two, if you don’t like it. Report them and block them from the site. Boom. Done. The best way to stick it to them is to show that you are more than just someone to stick it in. You are a person that has thoughts and feelings.
So Which One Are You?
Pick up your phone. Look at the last five messages that you have sent on your most recent dating app. Did you do it? Which of these five approaches did you use most recently? I bet you fall into at least one of these categories. That is not a bad thing, now you can be hyperaware of how you present yourself. If you like the way you approach people on dating apps then keep up the good work. But if you fell into one of the more unsavory styles of approach then you may want to consider the way you chat with people online. At the end of the day we all just want to meet someone whether it is to hook-up or get married. Find a style that works for you and go get ‘em!
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