Going On a Virtual Date? Here's How To Make It a Success
Tips from the body language, communication, and confidence coach.
Although some of the quarantine measures are being lifted off, most of the singles are still practicing social distancing. We've officially entered an era where video connection plays a more important role than ever.
According to Hily's last poll, 17% of Hily users have been on virtual dates and are planning on doing that again. Moreover, more than half of the singles reported they have never arranged a date via video messenger, however, they would love to.
We wanted to encourage singles to take up virtual dating, and give a few tips on how to feel comfortable and make their virtual date a success. Karen Donaldson, a body language, communication, and confidence coach,
Our minds can manage 30–50 thoughts per minute, says Karen. That's why you can make an impression on a person in front of you in a very short time. A virtual date is still a date. So, get ready as if you're going out on an actual face-to-face date.
Karen recommends wearing something that makes you feel good because how you dress can drive your ability to show up confidently.
Your clothes speak volumes about who you are as a person. It has nothing to do with being a fashionista. It’s about what you’re communicating subconsciously or intentionally through your fashion choices, says Karen.
How To Have A Quality Conversation
Create The Right Atmosphere
Try to keep things fun and light, recommends Karen.
This is not an interview for marriage next week.
Think Of Your Questions
Try to avoid "yes" or "no" questions, they don't help to move the conversation forward and can lead to awkward pauses. Give a person a chance to open up! Use open-ended questions, says Karen. People will be able to give longer answers.
People like to talk about themselves, so let them.
Be Ready To The Moments Of Silence
All of us hate those awkward pauses, but they may be inevitable especially if you two have never met before. Just in case prepare some stories or a few talking points (find a few examples at the end of the article).
Give Longer Answers
Make your answers longer than you would have done in real life.
Remember it’s just you and the other person conversing, and there is no buzz of external conversation like there would be if you were at a restaurant, says Karen.
Do not get distracted on other things! Instagram feed or a bird out the window should be off-limits during your video date. Be attentive to another person and listen to what they have to say. Use this information as a clue to your next question or conversation starter.
If the person is wearing a necklace with initials on it, ask them about it, if they’re wearing a sports jersey, ask if they’re a big fan.
Avoid Certain Topics Unless You Know You Both Would Enjoy Them
Try not to go into details about COVID-19. It's changed our lives for sure, but this topic can make people uncomfortable or even panicky. Need we say you don't have to mention your ex or ask them about their readiness for family and kids on the first date.
Do Not Brag
Of course, on first dates, you can talk a lot about yourself! However, try to do it without sounding arrogant or trying to outsmart another person. It's not a competition. Be genuine and share your excitement. Bragging can reveal your own insecurities, as can too many jokes.
Steer away from telling too many jokes or making insensitive jokes. Someone who tells a lot of jokes, instead of speaking about themselves showcases a high level of insecurity, recommends Karen.
Conversation Starters From The Coach
Here are a few talking points from Karen Donaldson.
Compliment people. People love being complimented and it’s a great way to start a conversation because you just made them feel good. But stick to simple things like their clothes, accessories so you don’t come off as a creep. Stay away from words like “sexy” or “hot”. Also, make sure the compliment is genuine.
“What was the best part of your day today?”
“What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?”
“When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?”
“I really love [insert activity here], have you ever tried it?”
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