Ways To Keep Your Cool Under Pressure
No one likes to fight with their partner. But sometimes fights need to happen to resolve issues that have come up and are harming the relationship. Fights don’t have to be screaming matches, actually they should not be screaming matches. Fights should be informed and calm conversations to work through issues so that you can move forward in your relationship.
- Be Aware Of Feelings
Consider not only your partner’s feelings but yours as well. Ask yourself, how did we get here? Why am I so mad in the first place. And then, compassionately acknowledge the feelings of your partner. Vocalize your feelings about the fight that you are having and allow your partner time to acknowledge his or her feelings about the fight as well. This way you can understand the direction to take this conversation. If you are aware of one another’s feelings from the start the conversation will navigate to a resolution faster.
- Focus On Now
Freeze and focus on the present to deter from past arguments. It is easy to bring up past arguments when you are in the heat of the moment. However, digging up the past problems that you have had with one another does no one any good. There is no way to change the past and it will only hurt the feelings on both sides if you bring up old wounds. Focus on the now and be sure that the conversation you are having clearly focuses on the problem at hand, not a problem that you had 2 weeks ago.
- Calm Tone
Speak slow and low to reduce anger or screaming. Being slow to anger is key when focusing on ending a fight. The more heated you both get, the less anyone can hear. Take turns speaking in low and slow tones so that you and your partner can properly communicate and hear everything that needs to be said.