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How To Make An Age Gap Work

Is Age Just A Number?

An age gap relationship is when the couple has a gap of years between one another. In some relationships, the age gap is two years and in other relationships, the age gap is twenty years. Celebrity couples get away with dating people that are far more senior than they are or vice versa. Hollywood plays by different rules. A man of forty can date a twenty-year-old and lead a relatively normal existence. In the “real world” this would present a problem. How can someone date a person that is not even of legal drinking age? You cannot go to bars, clubs, or establishments that require a 21 or over ID.

“You can’t help who you fall for; you love who you love.” — Courtney Thornton

People meet in all different circumstances and I suppose when meeting someone in public at a bar or on the street you don’t ask their age right away. Not everyone looks his or her age, therefore, you may go on a date or two before that even comes up. Therefore, you may end up falling for someone ten years your senior without even realizing you did. You love who you love and there is not an age limit for love. As long as you remain within legal limits.

Online dating gives you more of an opportunity to gauge a person’s age because it is noted in his or her profile. Whether or not that number is a lie, you know “about” how old that person you are chatting with is. You can even filter certain ages if you are looking for an older man or an older woman.

“‘Cast a wide net’ is what I tell all my clients,” Sussman says. “Men should date older, and women should be OK experimenting with dating younger. And we should all be more open-minded.” — Ashley Ross, Sex & Relationship Blogger

Don’t get caught up in the stigma of dating someone older or someone younger. You are giving yourself room for love. The wider your net the more opportunity for the love you can give yourself. And at the end of the day age isn’t what matters it is maturity that truly defines how old or young a person is.

Age-Gap Relationships Need To Answer These Questions

Are You Similar Enough?

When you engage in an age gap relationship there are many different factors that must aline for your relationship to succeed. So the question, are we similar enough, is a good start. What is similar? To be similar is to find the same activities pleasurable or even how to spend your money. There are countless ways to examine a couple and decide if they are similar or not. He enjoys golf and she likes to run. He wants to spend and she wants to save. When it comes to finances and hobbies, opposites may not attract or at least they may attract but soon fizzle due to dissimilar lifestyles.

Do Your Timetables Aline?

Everyone has a timetable for his or her life. When do you want kids? When will you buy a house? When will you get married? All of this needs to be addressed in a relationship in order to determine whether or not you will be able to withstand the long haul.

Is There Friend And Family Support?

No matter who you are, it always feels good when your friends and family accept and love your significant other. Even if society shuts down your relationship if you have support from your loved ones this will alleviate stress on your relationship because you feel loved and accepted by those that matter most to you.

[Age-gap couples report experiencing general social disapproval of their relationships more than similar-aged peers do (Lehmiller & Agnew, 2006)]

It is not typically every father’s dream to have his young daughter to come home with a man that can pass has her father. But as long as he treats your daughter well and loves her unconditionally, age should not be an issue.

Kids?

This can be a dealbreaker. If you have different timetables about when to start a family or to even start a family at all then you will have issues pop up when you least expect it. A couple needs to decide if they want kids or not and when they want them if the answer to having kids is “yes.” One of the reasons that older men may date younger women is to have children because the women that are the same age as they can no longer give them a child. Reproduction is a major factor in why people date who they date. A man is not always ready to have a family when they are in their twenties. Finances may not be ready to provide for a family and maturity may also not be fully bloomed yet either. Women want to start a family with a man that is mature and financially stable and in order to get that sometimes they need to hop a generation or two. There is an age gap with it but if you can start a happy and healthy family as a result of the age gap relationship then I don’t see a problem.

Money?

Money is the top category that causes fights between couples, any couple, regardless of age. Do we buy the couch or do we keep our old one and save the money for a rainy day fund? Some people are spenders and some people are savers. You need to find a common ground with money before things get too serious because fights will come up all the time if you don’t speak frankly about money from the get-go. When you are in an age gap relationship you have the ability to learn from one another and take from the experience of your older partner about the mistakes that he or she made in their youth financially so that you, the younger person in the relationship, can make positive financial moves.

Celebrity Age Gap Relationships

Dane Cook and Kelsi Taylor have an age gap that has been talked about lately. Kelsi is 19 and Dane is 45. Their relationship seems to be going pretty smoothly, despite some haters. A 26 year age gap presents a few questions no matter who you are. Did they meet while she was underaged? What are her motives for dating such an older man? Well, Kelsi happens to be a former backup dancer for Demi Lovato as well as an aspiring musician that does many famous covers on her Youtube Channel. The talk about how they meet is still aflutter because no one actually knows but Dane Cook has been having an off few years and Kelsi seems to just be starting out in her career. It can be assumed that the couple is so happy together because they are supportive and loving to one another in each other’s time of need. Kelsi needs support and connections to further her career in music and Dane needs someone to support him at a low point in his career as well as a stable woman to diffuse his womanizing persona. Long story short, they seem relatively happy together. Only time will tell how long this “love” will last but hopefully, for the sake of everyone’s heart, they can make it last a lifetime.

[The majority of heterosexual Americans (about 80 percent) opt for a partner within five years of their own age when they first marry, according to the Pew Research Center.]

At the end of someone’s life, it will not matter who they loved or how old they were when they loved them. It will only matter that they loved and were loved in return. Everyone finds love at different times in their life and it seems to fall into place just in time and saves us all.

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