Is Compatibility More Important Than Chemistry?

See what matters more to actively dating singles.

A great relationship depends on lots of things. In most of the romantic novels, chemistry is usually the main condition of a successful relationship and those who're "meant to be together" end up being a couple. However, if you've ever had a relationship IRL, you probably know that chemistry alone can't keep people together.

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Hily's users agree with that. The app asked 2 thousand of singles from the U.S. and the UK what they think is more important: feelings or compatibility. Here's what they answered in detail.

Only 16% of men and 9% of women rely exclusively on feelings while building a relationship.

49% of men and 58% of women believe that both feelings and compatibility are equally important. And all the others take into consideration only compatibility while choosing a long-term partner.

When it comes to compatibility, the “opposites attract” theory often comes up. Are similar or complementary traits more important to singles who're looking for a partner? So another question is — do people believe that opposites attract?
If you want to know whether it’s a myth or not read this.

51% of men and 44% of women do believe opposites attract.

45% of men and 52% of women believe both similarities and differences are important.

And the remaining 4% of men and women think that only similar people can be together.

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Hily also asked psychologists and relationship experts if opposites can truly attract.

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, Imago Therapist:

"Opposites do attract. It would be boring to marry a carbon copy of yourself. In fact, we are subconsciously attracted to someone who may be very different and even push our buttons.

They will often have the parts of ourselves we may have suppressed growing up. The relationship is an opportunity to balance each other out by stretching and growing beyond our normal limitations".

Dr. Wyatt Fisher, licensed psychologist and marriage counsellor:

"Opposites do tend to attract but they often have a tougher time in their relationships long-term. The more core similarities you have with a partner the more harmonious the relationship will probably be.

Having said that, most of us have major differences with our partner and the most important piece is how we interact around those differences not how many differences we have. Learning to respect and honor differences rather than judge them is key".

Do you believe opposites attract?
Or are similarities more important?
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The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.

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