Protecting Yourself In Relationships
It is important to remain your individual and independent self while you are in a relationship. There are easy ways that your partner can slip you into a manipulative and controlling relationship if you are not familiar with the signals and signs to look out for in order to protect yourself from manipulative behavior. There are three huge elements to look for in any relationship that will help you identify if manipulative maneuvers are being taken by your partner.
Place Focus On Them
Take a second to repeat their request and ask open ended probing questions to make them think and reflect on what they have asked you. Probing questions help get to the bottom of why they even asked this task of you. For example, if your partner tells you to take the day off work tomorrow to complete an errand for them as them, “why can’t you take off time at YOUR job to do this errand?” or even “Can this errand wait until we have the weekend to do it together?” Something to that effect that make them realize you are not going to be told what to do but you want to understand why they have asked you to do their bidding.
Leverage Your Point
Just as someone in sales would do, take in to account the request that has been made to you rather than just jumping to do as they command. Tell your partner after they ask you to do something that you will “think on it” or “take the night to mull it over.” Not responding immediately is a way to keep your independence and not be manipulated into doing things that you may not want to do.
This may be the most important factor in avoiding manipulations in relationships. Never place blame on yourself or question your self-worth. One of the ways that a manipulator takes control is making you feel like you don’t deserve anything and you are less than what you are. Do not place blame on yourself with anything that happens that is out of your control.