Polygamy and Polyandry: The More The Merrier

Image for post
Image for post
Alejandro Alvarez (@a2foto) on Unsplash

Relationships come in all shapes, sizes, and quantities. Polygamy and polyamory are two taboo words in society that are correlated with religion and abuse. Without the proper information, perspective can be skewed. I set aside both topics for you to break down and learn a bit more about them with an open heart. Hily.com is a great place for learning, respect, sharing, and compassion. Although the words polygamy and polyamory seem almost interchangeable they are very different in many ways. “Love is love no matter how many people are part of the relationship.”

Image for post
Image for post
Tom Pumford (@tompumford) on Unsplash

Polygamy is “the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time.” Typically the state of marriage in a polygamous relationship is a man with many wives rather than a woman with many husbands. Could you imagine having more than one woman to please? Some men can barely handle one wife. Kudos to the men that have more than one. Polygamy is a very stigmatized word in the dating world. The news has shone an ugly light on many polygamous leaders in the U.S. that have made the sanctity of marriage a crime. The genuine meaning behind polygamy is not with ill-intent such as the media portrays it to be. In some cultures the reason behind having a polygamous relationships is purely situational. Countries in West Africa have a high population of women and they have less men overall. Just playing the odds, rather than having starving women and children they marry men with multiple wives to be a part of a family that can care for them. It is actually a need base cultural norm.

Religion is another popular reason to practice plural marriage. In the United States, the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, with leaders such as Warren Jeffs and Joseph Smith as prophet practice Polygamy because it will get them a better spot in heaven. This is a rather undocumented area of the nation because it is illegal to have more than one legal wife in the United States. Among the documented cases, between 50,000–100,000 people are currently practicing polygamy in the United States. Most sects of polygamy root from the Muslim religion as well as Fundamental mormons. Some families that practice Polygamy are not connected with a church at all. The Brown’s from the TLC show “Sister Wives” got excommunicated from their church because that sect of mormonism does not practice polygamy. The Brown’s moved to Las Vegas, the city of sin, to practice their beliefs freely and without as much judgement. Ironic the place they chose to move, huh? If you are a good person and you treat and care for your spouse(s) and children with love and respect then everything should be left alone. There are some monogamous families that have it all twisted, everyone has faults.

Image for post
Image for post
Suhyeon Choi (@choisyeon) on Unsplash

Love, what a sweet word. Love can mean so many different things to so many different people. The main understanding of love in all cultures is compassion for one another. Polygamy touches on the aspect of love that one man has many wives with different kinds of love for each of them whereas, polyamory is also involving more than two parties, however, there are a few important differences that need to be defined in order to explain the two. “Poly” as I stated before means “many” and “amor” means “love.” Polyamory is just that, more love.

A committed couple can date outside the relationships with permission of the significant other. With the blessing from the couple as a whole you are free to date and it is not considered cheating. As long as the line of communication is open and no one is in the dark about any dating or canoodling outside of the marriage everything is kosher.

Many dating sites are specifically targeted for “poly” relationships. This is great because you wouldn’t want to go on a date with someone that has a wife you do not know about! Although polyamory is seen as “unnatural” you can easily search for a second wife in the same fashion a man would search for a first wife, using a dating app. With the Hily app a couple can decide on their next date together and gather all the information that they would need to share with their partner to gain the seal of approval. The ease and accessibility of this dating site is great for any type of relationship.

Polygamy Is A Young Woman’s Game

World marriage patterns show on the United Nations website that not only are plural marriages more common and accepted in African cultures but the age to which they are married is also significantly younger when plural marriage is on the table. I wonder why Polygamous couples marry so young? Is there a point or is it just for the sake of religion or cultural necessity. I could not imagine being married off and expected to have children at the age of fourteen. That is part of the reason Polygamy is so stigmatized, because the rare cases that young girls are married off, that is all the media sees. In fact, 16% say they do not find it objectionable.”

Maybe the world of millennials will change to view on poly-dating just as they did for the LGBTQ community. Will this be the new norm? I can’t imagine a world that polyamory is more common than monogamy but I also never thought Donald Trump could be President of the United States… Let me know what you think below in the comments.

Hily.com could use your input to learn all we can about all of the many different types of love there are out there around the world. At the end of the day, love is beautiful and everyone should have the chance to experience it. There is zero judgement on Hily.com for any participants that date with a goal of plural marriage. If you have any stories or opinions on Polygamy and the like please share it with us. We would love to hear from you!

Written by

The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store