Exorcise Your Ex With These Few Steps
Boo! They seem to pop up everywhere still. The ghosts of relationships past. It is difficult to get over a boyfriend or girlfriend that leaves a mark on your life. You cannot deny the fact that you were with them completely but if your past relationships come to haunt you in your current relationships then you need to do something about it. You are unable to commit fully to someone new if the lingering thoughts of ex still haunt your daily life.
There is a movie, “The Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past” and in this film a man is haunted by his past girlfriends. And until he is “rid” of his exes ghosts he cannot commit to one woman in a serious fashion. There maybe a reason, just like him, that you have been unable to let go of your past relationships. That lingering feeling you have could be that you did not properly cope with the breakup when it happened so your unresolved feelings of anger and regret are irrational. You make not actually have regret that you ended a relationship with someone it is simply that you have things that remind you of them so sweet memories pop up when you least expect it to paint a picture that may not depict the relationship as it actually was. If that is the case there are a few things you can do to “exorcise your ghosts” short of running away to the islands it hid from them.
Release Your Anger
It is alright to have anger towards your ex, it would be a little weird if you didn’t actually. You need to recognize your feelings and feel those feelings. That is the only way to get through your anger is if you FEEL it, EXPRESS it, and in turn GET OVER it.
- Get In Touch With Your Anger
Why are your angry? Whether your breakup was mutual or extremely one-sided and messy you will feel anger. It is one of the many stages that you go through after a breakup. But not many of us actually get to the depths of why we are angry in the first place. Are we angry that we are single now, are we angry about an affair, are we angry about time wasted on someone that ended in nothing. These are all great possibilities as to why we may be angry after a breakup. It is important to know that whether or not you want children, your body will have your express feelings of hate toward your ex because they sucked valuable, fertile years from your life. It is like meeting a dead end when a relationship finishes. So if you cannot come up with a reason for your anger, there is a good chance you are feeling angry because of something deeper than what lies on the outside. It is important to dig deep and find the root of your anger so that you can then move on to expressing your anger and then releasing yourself of anger as a burden.
“I am not surprised that abandonment rage sometimes erupts into violence. Jilted men and women have wasted priceless reproductive time and energy on a partner who is deserting them. They must start their courtship search again. Moreover, their reproductive future has been jeopardized — along with their social alliances, their personal happiness, and their reputation.”
- Jesse Martin
- Express Your Anger
Once you realize what is making you angry you can then find the proper avenue to express it. If you were left for someone else then you need to remind yourself it is not right to direct your anger at the other woman or man that you are being left for; it is your ex that you should have the anger towards. And even so placing blame on someone will not help you heal. It is important not to lose focus on the goal here. The goal is to release yourself of anger and heal. A proper way to do this is through journaling. Writing letters to your ex that you will never send is immensely therapeutic as well as journaling all of your feelings. Try journaling your emotions, all of them for a week and look back on all of it after, you may end up revealing something to yourself that you didn’t know was causing some of your anger. If you are not into journaling another outlet to express your anger is through exercise. Working out can be fueled by your aggression. Take a negative and turn it into a positive. Exercise will make you look better, and feel better, all while releasing your anger and solving the problem of your ex.
Rid Yourself Of Haunted Possessions
Purge your life of all the ticket stubs, old sweatshirts, or perfume that remind you of your past relationships. But not all of your haunted possessions are physical possessions. Some may be a scent that ties you to a memory from your past. Others may be a style of clothing you took up wearing while you were with this person. Depending on the length of your relationship couples take on attributes of one another simply because they are around each other more often than not so it makes sense that your hair is how they like to see it. Your clothes meet their style, your makeup and even your hobbies can match theirs. All of these things need to change or be somewhat altered in order to rid yourself of your ex.
- Change Your Hair
Women go through many different hair styles in their life, 104 to be exact, and what better way to put a relationship in the past than to treat yourself to a spa day and throw a new cut and color on.
- Switch Up Stations
If you used to listen to classic rock with your ex, change it up and take on a new radio station to broaden your scopes with music. Hearing a song that reminds you of your ex can trigger unwanted feelings.
- New Sheets
You have slept in these sheets with your ex, yes you can wash them but can your really wash out the memories? Nope.
The obvious choice to get rid of after a date, this one is self explanatory.
Scent is such a strong trigger for memories that you should go ahead and toss the scents you have right now and find a new one for the new you. There is no need to smell like you did before now that your ex is out of the picture.
Be Careful Of Repeat Patterns
When you are with someone and it ends, your relationships afterwards may fall into the same unhealthy patterns if you are not over your ex. When we carry old wounds it feels comfortable to just fall back into old habits. If it is not new it doesn’t hurt as bad. But you are actually harming yourself more by not visiting those wounds and healing them properly because it will just hurt more later when you find the strength to overcome your heartbreak. It is like healing a broken bone. If you heal a broken arm incorrectly, you need to break it again to reheal it properly. Don’t fall back into old patterns because if you heal properly then your ghosts from the past will not come back to haunt you.
Don’t Blame Yourself
The last thing you should do when a relationship ends is commit self blame. It takes two to tango and in no way was a relationship ending the fault of one single person. It is a variety of reasons. Bare in mind that you may have just been young and learning from one another or you did the best you could and you just were not a good match for one another after all.
Whether it be therapy, a bartender, or a friend, seeking help is a great way to rid yourself of the ghosts of relationship past. Keeping your feelings to yourself is no way to heal. Speaking out your problems to someone is a good way to rid yourself of ghosts.