Image for post
Image for post

Society’s Skewed Perception Of Sex, Thanks To Porn

Betrayed By Porn

Everyone has seen porn. Whether it be soft-core on late-night cable or hard-core on the internet. Sex is all around us and unfortunately, it is false advertising. Young impressionable alike are exposed to sex at such a young age by ads, commercials, and the internet. The porn industry displays a false view of what sex is. Porn portrays sex as a game rather than an act of love. Sex should be consensual, gentle, and with love on the agenda.

Where Did You Learn It?

For me, health class was not until seventh grade but I was exposed to sex before properly learning about it in an “education setting.” Grandiose ideas get put into your head by porn and the like. Models are thin and desirable in magazine ads, “that must mean to be sexy I have to be thin.” Porn stars are well-endowed and last for hours on end, “that must mean all men can last for three hours with sizable packages.” Women that are submissive get the guys, “I suppose that will entail me to cater to my man’s needs as opposed to my own.” These are all of the things that cross everyday people’s minds after seeing porn. Porn puts sex on a pedestal filled with domineering males and unrealistic orgasmic situations.

Yes, pornography is fiction. That’s part of why many people enjoy it. However, there’s a risk if young women and men misunderstand sex as a result of a porn-only sex education. -Debby Herbenick

People that gather their knowledge about sex from the internet and porn networks are given a false sense of reality. The first few times a person encounters porn, they are too young to understand the separation of fantasy and reality. Porn is supposed to be your fantasy, that is why people watch it; to get what they cannot in the actual world. Taking lessons about self-grooming to attract the opposite sex from pornography is not ideal. It is common for individuals to assume that genitals need to be hairless because either the men and women in porn are completely shaved or they are told that hair is gross down there. Little do they know that pubic hair is there for a purpose and is not meant to be rid of completely. Just like eyelashes protect germs and dust from your eyeballs, pubic hair works as a barrier for bacteria and stops it from getting to your genitals. Porn would not teach you that. Health class will teach you that. Take it from experts in science not experts in blow jobs.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash
Image for post
Image for post

Porn Star Women vs. Real Women

Real women need real love. Here are a few things that differ in sex on tv and sex in real life.

Orgasm

Orgasms are always portrayed as a big show for a women, it is loud and always happens in pornography. In reality, that is not always the case. Poor guys everywhere are probably feeling let down if there was not fireworks after sex. They were given a false representation of what everyday sex is like. It is not a show, and sometimes, there is not a climax.

Penis Size

The bigger the better, not really. In reality women do not want a giant daunting penis in their face or otherwise. Yes, a decent size is necessary for pleasure but come on, some of these guys in the videos are scary big. All I can think of is pain not pleasure, yikes.

Anal Sex

This is a topic that is widely shown in pornography, but in reality this is not a go to move for most couples. It is not as dreamy as they make it out to be. “Am I pooping, good god it feels like I’m pooping.” That is more realistic of what is going through a woman’s head than, “wow, this feels so great, more please.”

Oral Sex

Both in porn and reality this can be portrayed as a form of foreplay. That part is real but the unreal part is the finish. Porn stars are paid to make it look like swallowing is the best thing and might as well be the nectar of the Gods. Real women have something else on their mind, “gross please I’m spitting this out the second I get to the bathroom.”

Foreplay

Guy walks into a house and just starts banging the woman right off the start. What happened to the warm-up? Literally there is no way a woman can go from zero to sixty like that in real life. There needs to be playing and build up to work to the big act. I hope no one watches porn and says yeah, that sounds about right. No romance needed.

All of these attributes of sex are portrayed so much differently than they should be. Love is supposed to be gentle and being caring. Porn makes it out to look like a game or prize. They are putting on a show and there is nothing wrong with watching porn as long as you learn the difference between what is porn and what is reality. Otherwise you will be in for some serious disappointment.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash
Image for post
Image for post

Sexy Standards

Talk about unrealistic expectations. The porn industry has made a society filled with high hopes and dreams for our sex lives. Women are not the only ones that are in harms way when it comes to porn influence. Men are under the microscope as well. Men are expected to be able to throw their partners around the room with ease and grace while having a huge penis AND lasting about three hours. Not to kill your vibe but this is not what is going to happen when you step into the bedroom.

Find someone who is going to appreciate your love and your body, and vice versa, without any sexual expectations. -Brittany Graham

Unless you plan out your sexy nights to be like the films, they will be much different. Actual sex will be tender and take a little longer to build up than you may think. With this day in age of dating apps and hook-up culture people are having sex with people that they hardly know. This leads to treating sex like the films because they just show up and expect to be pleased. There is nothing wrong with hook-ups but the standards need to be set a bit differently in order to reduce the amount of disappointment.

Watching a video that was staged and fake — the way the women moaned, whimpering, the way the men never pleasured them, the way there was no romance — I wasn’t into it after I got a taste of the real thing.

Image for post
Image for post

Nothing can replace the genuine human connection that is received from actual sex. Porn can ruin your libido when you are only used to what is in the film. But hopefully when you get a taste of the real thing that is all you will want because that is something that cannot be caught on film. The feeling of pure ecstasy with a loved one, the human connection cannot be replaced.

Sign up to hily.com and get the best dating experience ever!

Written by

The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store