Slow Dating: Stop The Swipes

The Latest Dating Trend That Shows Better Results

Slow and steady wins the race. Have you ever heard that saying? This common saying is now the mantra for dating apps. Keeping your swiping to a minimum, it is found that only having a few options a day can result in better dating turnouts. That makes sense right? Rather than swiftly swiping through twenty photos (or more) in one night you are only able to get to know a few men or women and it forces you to look deeper into his or her profile and find something you may have missed if you followed your regular swiping patterns.

What is it?

Too Many Choices

“There’s an illusion of plentifulness. It makes it look like the world is full of more single, eager people than it probably is.” — Ashley Fetters, a 26-year-old editor at GQ

Having such a large selection of people to date can result in failed relationships because you will have an itching feeling, “why settle now, I have so many guys or girls to choose.” That lingering thought will create a wedge in your relationship and doom your relationship to fail in the end because you have too many choices. By narrowing down the people that are available to you on dating sites, it will help you form a positive and genuine bond with someone and the others simply won’t matter because you have taken the time to get to know them more than just swiping right to their picture along with twenty other men or women in the same afternoon.

Cognitive Overload

“The Verge reported that Fisher said the biggest problem with dating apps is “cognitive overload,” adding that “the brain is not well built to choose between hundreds or thousands of alternatives.” Fisher advises people to stop when they’ve hit nine matches and consider those.” — Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist

All of this information has resulted in dating apps slowing things down and only giving each person a few people or even only one person per day to be matched with. This is called “slow dating”. You are able to connect with one person per day and if you do not feel a vibe with them after 24 hours, you can move onto the next individual.

Why Pace Matters

Slow dating is mimicking matchmakers in the sense that you are only dating one person at a time. It gives you a chance to connect with someone before writing them off and swiping to the next eligible bachelor or bachelorette.

“There’s someone who suits you well enough — and once you decide you’re going to be in a relationship with that person, you mold the relationship into something that suits you even better.” — Esther Perel, therapist

All in all, dating takes time and as long as you understand that then you will be able to find someone to love and love you back. Love takes time, dating takes time, and if you begin using the dating trend of slow dating hopefully you can take the time to meet someone great and create a bond that lasts a lifetime.

The smartest dating app there is, Hily caters to those tired of endless swiping. On Medium we're gladly sharing our expertise in dating.