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The Most Awkward Moments Of Sex…

  1. Period.

I was hooking up naked with my Tinder date and all of a sudden I look down to see drops of red on his leg…yup you guessed it. Aunt Flo decided to make tonight a threesome. I got up and blood was coming out all over the bed. I got my period on a stranger…he never called me back after that one.

2. Zzzzz.

I fell asleep on a dick, there is no other way to say it. I was nearing the end of an epic time in bed with my lover and I was finishing him up with some oral and I straight up fell asleep while he was in my mouth. So embarrassing.

3. Farts.

Nature has a way of intervening at the most opportune moments in life. For example I was hooking up with this girl on etime and I thought she was being overly dramatic with her moans but she was trying to mask the sound of her farts. I kept at it because I wanted to finish but she farted at least four or five times throughout and tried to hide it. SO awkward, at least own up to it next time.

4. Foreign Affairs.

I have always been into men that spoke different languages than me. One time I was hooking up with this handsome guy that spoke French. I told him to do me while he said nice things to me in French and I was so taken by the language that I fell asleep while we were having sex. I woke up naked in bed with him the next morning utterly mortiFarts. Nature has a way of intervening at the most opportune moments in life. For example I was hooking up with this girl on etime and I thought she was being overly dramatic with her moans but she was trying to mask the sound of her farts. I kept at it because I wanted to finish but she farted at least four or five times throughout and tried to hide it. SO awkward, at least own up to it next time. fied, grabbed my heels and ran.

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5. Hair, everywhere.

A guy I had known for years and recently started dating finally took his clothes off in front of me. It was about that time in our relationship and blam-o…hair everywhere. How was I so unaware that I was dating a freaking gorilla. When we were mid-hump it just felt like I was doing it with a fur coat.

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