Why are we so bad at finding couples?
Depending on who you speak with, society seems to view marriage as very disposable. It is as if now rather than a life long commitment marriage is a temporary relationship status that can be changed just as quick as it was confirmed. This is not a generalized assumption because as of 2017, divorce rates are 50% and climbing. But why? Are we worse at picking partners now than we were fifty years ago or could it be that separating from someone is easier and more accessible than it was before which in turn makes relationships in general more of a whim as well as the uptick in hookup culture with millennials. With that said, are soulmates even real or is it just a dream that someone would be so perfect for you?
Disposable Relationships: Hookup Cultures
If you are in the dating sphere as of now, you are familiar with what “hook up” culture is. Dating apps make it simple to hit it and forget it. Sex is seen as more of a physical pleasure and need rather than an intimate commitment for only two people. It is more socially acceptable to have had more than a few partners in your lifetime without being seen as a harlot. Twenty years ago it was weird if you had sex with someone and there was no future for you relationship. Now, it is such a fast-paced and self-centered society that people be sure to make time for sex but little time for commitment.
“Being “official” can suggest less freedom and less sexual variety. The hookup culture is so prominent in society these days, it allows minimal time for commitment, minimal emotional attachment and more opportunities for physical pleasure.”
The age old phrase, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free, is more than appropriate to describe today’s relationship qualms. Commitment is fleeting and why would someone decide to only commit to one person for the rest of their lives if they did not have to? This is a sad state of affairs for some that have more “classic” values. A lot of men and women want to get married and commit themselves to their “soulmate” but hook up culture prevents them from finding a one true love.
Divorce Rate: Increased And Escalating
Why did couples stay together so many years ago and nowadays divorce lawyers are able to buy multiple properties with all the profits from the business they have accrued. Most likely it is because relationships are difficult. They don’t just work out if you find your soulmate. Even the most compatible couples will have arguments and challenges that come up in their lives together.
“In 1961, slightly less than 1 percent of married couples — one out of every 104 — filed for divorce in the U.S., according to government statistics.”
Fear of commitment is a very real thing. But what happens when you do commit and it is not what you thought it would be? You call your divorce attorney and end your third marriage just like an episode about Ross on Friends. Treating marriage as a relationship status rather than a commitment is where the trouble truly begins. Weddings are grand and luxurious but what comes after the wedding, is a marriage. A marriage filled with challenges, tears, and hopefully lots of joy. For those people that simply leave a marriage and give up when times become hard they are missing out on the sweet love and compassion that comes with a long term relationship. It seems that the problem is not are we bad at finding couples, it is that we are bad at KEEPING the couples we make.
Soulmates: A Thing Of The Past?
As a married woman myself I would like to find comfort in the idea of soulmates, however from a non romance novel point of view soulmates could be real but just be categorized under “compatible” rather than “soulmate.” I know saying you are compatiable with someone is much less “Nicholas Sparks” than saying you are soulmates with someone. But that is the reality of the word. To be soulmates with someone is to be compatible in all aspects of your relationship and to love and be loved for the duration of your life.
“Marriages don’t get better as a function of time alone, but rather they get better as a function of two partners continuing to treat each other with love and respect despite the challenges life brings.”
This couple above looks overjoyed to be with one another. No matter how much you may boast about your hookups or your single life or what have you. This right here is #relationshipgoals. Deep down I hope that this is what our world will come back to. A life of love and commitment. Walking out on someone is easy, staying together is difficult. Do not take the easy way out and see where love can take you.